Thoughts

I have decided that there needs to be a change. This would ultimately not be some huge change, but a small change with huge scope.

There exists something on television that we will never be able to escape. There is no avoiding it, try as you may. The only hope for humanity is finding a middle ground. With acceptance of the fact, we can all move on. Acceptance though, comes only through compromise.

This is not a daily occurrence, and often times is not even weekly. I estimate the frequency would correlate to the amount of television watched by any one individual.

Ok, you've had enough suspense have you not?

What is it that comes on TV when you least expect it and you are entirely powerless against it?

Feminine Hygiene Advertising.

There, I said it.

Originally, my platform when running for Emperor would be to eliminate these commercials across the board. I realize now that in the interest of a free market society and the tradition of competition and capitalism that this is not a reasonable ban. That leads me to this post today.

It is time for the makers of feminine hygiene products to take a page from beer distributors. Imagine a world where your favorite program will break for a short word from its sponsors and *boom* there is no longer a woman walking on the beach telling you how much certain things itch and irritate.

No, I do not have the creative juices flowing nor the comedic ability to come up with the new ad. Sure you can all say that if I am unable to provide a specific example of this new phase I suggest that my point is less valid. I will let you be the judge. My ideas are in your hands, the hands of my critics.

Funny commercials are always the best commercials; I am sure that most if not all watchers would support that statement. Yes, it is true that some people would even argue that no commercial is a good commercial, at least the channel flippers of the world would take that stance.

Look at the online stock trading firms. This is not an industry the feminine hygiene companies should emulate. This is the only situation in which I would NOT want to see a monkey in a commercial.

In no way do I dispute the argument that in an attempt to make these advertisements funny we, as the male demographic, may be more disgusted than anything...at least at first. That is fine. There will need to be a grace period. I understand that it may take some getting used to, but under the current regime I am not sure feminine hygiene products and male viewers will ever meet on common ground.

There needs to be a change, that much I know. Will this change ever come? I am not sure. Will this change involve, say Terry Tate Office Linebacker? Probably not.

Imagine the following conversation occurring on the Monday morning after the Super Bowl.
"So what was your favorite commercial last night?"
"No question, it had to be the Tampons."
"Yeah, that one was so funny, but I think my favorite was the yeast infection ointment. I laughed so hard I spilled my beer."

Think about it. Viva la revolucion.