:: Privatjokr ::

As of nearly midnight last night, the deed has been done. Our draft is completed and our rosters set. Yet another year of being in just one fantasy football league, but that is just fine by me.

This time last year I had already been told that I would not make the playoffs in our league. Only two teams would not make the playoffs. This year the pressure is on a little more. It would be nice to make the playoffs, but truth of the matter is that I actually do not care. I am not good enough at fantasy football and do not follow the season nearly as close as many. Here is the team as of draft day:

Starters
QB Daunte Culpepper
WR Drew Bennett
WR Anquan Boldin
RB Priest Holmes
RB Duce Staley
TE Todd Heap
WR/RB Chris Brown
K Adam Vinatieri
DEF Baltimore
Bench
WR Braylon Edwards
QB Chad Pennington
WR Donte' Stallworth
RB Justin Fargas

I had the fourth pick, which left me with Holmes. I did not want to take him, I was hoping he would go before me. Since he didn't, what choice did I have? It could be a mistake a) with his knee and b) with Larry Johnson scheduled to share touches, but I did what I had to do and took him with my first pick. Last year I took Clinton Portis with my first pick and that was a waste, so maybe I have some wiggle room. On top of that, my other two starting running backs are currently nursing injuries.

Getting Culpepper with my second pick was a big surprise. I did not expect him to fall back to me. I was excited. He was the sole reason I had any success at all last season. As much as I cannot stand that stupid dance he does, I hope to see it over and over (as he only does it after making a big play).

It is not a team without potential. This could be a very interesting year.

Bring it on!

Why?

Clapping in the theater at the end of a good movie is as effective as yelling at your television as you watch your team play poorly, yet if I had to pick one of the two that bothered me, it is the applause.

It does not happen frequently; at least not in my experience (and I attend my fair share of movies). But when it does, boy does it get under my skin. The last time it happened was when I saw The Aristocrats! and before then was The Polar Express.

Do people expect the director and/or lead to come out from behind a curtain for a bow? Is there a subculture of theater clappers? Is this something learned from parents? How does one develop into a theater clapper? Is there an elaborate recruitment process by which new generations of theater clappers are selected? I think answers to some of these questions might lead to a seedy underbelly of cinema. Maybe the path to the theater clapper elite would reveal organized crime and corruption that goes all the way to the top! Imagine the possibilities...

Leave well enough alone, you say? Not me.

Oh how I would love to pick the brain of one of them. Do you think it would be frowned upon if I began to go to the movies with a harpoon in hopes of capturing one? Imagine the studies that could be conducted. All in the name of science! I wonder if my prisoner would then be able to be reconditioned. Could we train them to NOT clap after movies? That certainly would be ideal.

Maybe it is not even for the movie itself, but rather the projector operator. This I can get on board with, I guess next time I will applaud you, too. You sure switch the reels well.

Did I really lay out parallels between clapping at the end of a good movie and La CosaNostra? Ok, maybe I am a little too hung up on this.

In my effort to increase my utility to the rest of human nature, I have decided to go in search of the recipe for the best homemade macaroni and cheese. I am enlisting the help of anyone and everyone to submit their variations on this crowd pleasing comfort food. I will post each recipe that is e-mailed to me in the forum and encourage you to post yours either as a comment to this post, in an e-mail to me, or in the forum.

If I come to find that one recipe I stumble upon is a bit off from perfect, though I am able to add the missing piece, credit will still be given. Sure, it will become Peterified Mac 'n Chee, but thanks will be given to any and all recipes used in creating the masterpiece, whether in parenthetical citations or footnotes. If no modifications are made, I will present to the world your recipe, your name emblazoned across the top. I always remember the little people!

This is not a quest that will start today and end tomorrow, or next week, or even next month. Please be patient. It is not that I do not have the time, but I can only eat so much macaroni and cheese.

I hope to return to you with THE best homemade macaroni and cheese recipe. I thank you for your submissions and your patience.

Forum Link

Apparently I am actually capable of sleeping like a normal person, just not when I am home. I slept well all week up north, but now back home I've had two nights when I couldn't fall asleep.

I guess it is better that I accept it and even embrace it. My next vacation will not be for a long time.

If ever there was one who was good at this thing called "vacation", I think I am him. I feel there is an art to it; an art that I did not create, though I have made it my own.

I think I should like to do this full time, given the opportunity. Now all I need is said opportunity. Perhaps it is time that I began volunteering at senior centers. Maybe giving of my time will help me find my way. That way of course would be to get me a 90 year old girlfriend with a mountain of wealth to leave to no one but me, her trusty friend til the end. Oh how I'll miss her, truly I will love her so. I will think of her often as I sit on the porch, looking up from my book between chapters to take in the beauty of the vast expanse of water.

It has been good to cool my heels a little between semesters of school and projects at work. I definitely would like to do this at the close of each term. Who do I have to talk to about getting three weeks vacation around here?

There is a fine line between getting away from your thoughts and being alone with them. Tread lightly.

Don't rush through life, pause and enjoy it.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon

Joe Kavalier, a young Jewish artist who has also been trained in the art of Houdini-esque escape, has just smuggled himself out of Nazi-invaded Prague and landed in New York City. His Brooklyn cousin Sammy Clay is looking for a partner to create heroes, stories, and art for the latest novelty to hit America -- the comic book. Drawing on their own fears and dreams, Kavalier and Clay create the Escapist, the Monitor, and Luna Moth, inspired by the beautiful Rosa Saks, who will become linked by powerful ties to both men. With exhilarating style and grace, Michael Chabon tells and unforgettable story about American romance and possibility.

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The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

Director Terry Gilliam ("Brazil") and an all-star cast, including John Neville, Eric Idle, Oliver Reed and Uma Thurman, deliver this tale of the enchanting adventures of Baron von Munchausen on his journey in a hot air balloon to search for his old comrades-at-arms.

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A man walks into a talent agent's office to promote his family act. He describes for the agent what the act consists of and when asked what they call their act, the man says, "The Aristocrats!"

I know it doesn't look funny. It also has one of the weakest punch lines since the creation of humor, but that is not the point. The point is that for a story that lasts anywhere between 30 seconds and upwards of 15-20 minutes, it is not about the punch line.

That is a joke that has been passed through the close circles of stand up comedy for generations. Comedians tell this joke when they get together with other comedians. Every veteran comedian not only has heard it at some point in their career, but now even has their own adaptation which they tell frequently, though never on stage. They go on to say that stand up comedy is not about jokes, it is about telling funny occurrences. Jokes are for hack comedians. Few exceptions have been made, one of which was Gilbert Gottfried at the Hugh Hefner Roast.

Comedians Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette decided to make a documentary involving 100 of their friends; the biggest names in comedy. The idea was to have everyone talk about the aura surrounding this joke. Everyone knows it. Everyone has an opinion on it. Everyone has their own version. Some tell their version, some tell stories about the first time they've heard it. A few even offer variations on it.

It doesn't matter who was talking (or in one case, miming) this movie was hysterical. Oh, one small disclaimer is that you may not like the movie if you are in any way offended by jokes about incest, familial abuse, urination, defecation, vomiting, bestiality...well the list goes on. It is these things that are used as components of the "family act" in the joke. Aside from that, there is nothing offensive in this movie...

More shock value than in the joke itself comes in the delivery. The movie says it is the "singing, not the song." As the comedians are interviewed, some explain that the beauty of The Aristocrats is that you have complete creative license as joke teller to try and induce as much shock value as you can. It also tells a lot about who tells the joke as to how dirty their mind is.

Take actors you have seen on television for years. Now place them in front of a handheld camcorder and ask them to tell you the dirtiest joke ever told. I know I didn't expect to hear some things from certain people. In some cases you associate the actor with the character they play(ed) on TV; a character that would not tell a joke that involves a stage act of freaky circus sex between a man and garden variety barnyard animals.

A few specific moments stood out from the rest. As hinted above, The Aristocrats was told by many, but also performed by a mime. He was on the street at the time, his "telling" was perfect and my only have been rivaled by the looks on the faces of passers-by. Kevin Pollock probably did a better job of sounding like Christopher Walken than Christopher Walken would have when telling a version of the joke. And who could forget Bob Saget? He starts off admitting that he has a reputation in the industry as being a dirty comic, which you do not expect to hear from Danny Tanner. I will leave it at that.

ALL of the biggest names were present in this documentary. Robin Williams, George Carlin, Phyllis Diller, Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Jeni, Richard Lewis, Gilbert Gottfried...well you get the idea. But if you are curious, the full cast listing is available here. I did think that there may be some hesitation on part of some of the comedians to participate in a publicizing of this unique staple to the laughter industry, but everyone seemed eager to participate. The Aristocrats brings people together. It was fascinating to see such big stars humbled by their own thoughts of something as simple as one joke. The sincerity with which they spoke about The Aristocrats was amazing.

For once I did not stick out nearly as much as usual in a theater for a funny movie. I have this bad habit of laughing out loud. Couple that with a decent set of lungs, I can get pretty obnoxious. I apologize to everyone who has ever been there for it and all of you whose experience(s) lie ahead. Last night was not so awkward, though. Everyone was laughing out loud. All inhibitions about being loud were left at the door. You could not help but belt out with laughter at this movie.

To somewhat of a surprise, no one (that I noticed) got up and left the theater. I am glad that no one was so deeply offended by the content that they had to leave, even though there is something to be said for a movie that can be so funny and so offensive at the same time that maybe at least one husband and wife complete with teenage daughter walk out (Team America - World Police). The theater in which I saw the movie was mostly filled with older viewers though, there were no children. And yes, The Aristocrats is more offensive than Team America. Much more.

I already have plans to see it in the theater a second time.

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The price of gasoline is getting ridiculous. I know that in other countries gas costs much more than it does here, so we have little room for complaint in the grand scheme of things, but we are American. We don't care about the grand scheme, do we?

I filled up yesterday after work. $2.759 for regular gas. As it does every year, price of gas is expected to spike come Labor Day weekend. "Experts" (Who I am convinced requires no education) are predicting the price of gasoline in the state of Michigan to exceed $3 per gallon.

The repercussion(s) from the exorbitant pricing has been little more than complaints from motorists, or so I have observed. Until Monday night. Josh and I were walking to get some food after seeing Broken Flowers. I am either offended or flattered by the events that ensued on our walk. A young woman who had her back against a building approached us, nay approached Josh.

"Can you spare a few dollars?"
"How many is a 'few'?"
"Whatever you can spare."
"I have A dollar."
"Thank you."

So did she talk to Josh because he had on slacks and a nice button down? Were my cargo shorts not upscale enough for me to have spare dollars? Maybe he has "SUCKER" written across his forehead in some special ink that only girls can read. (That certainly would explain a lot.) If I should be offended at her reasoning, I haven't lost any sleep over the fact that I was not the one put on the spot to not give her money. Maybe she is like an animal that can sense...that I wasn't going to give her any money.

Anyway, this young, semi-attractive (in that I've had too many and shouldn't drive home kinda way) girl was clad in a tank top and jeans. She was clean. She was well fed. She was by all facets of the imagination, not homeless. Strange that she was asking for handouts on the sidewalk in downtown Royal Oak.

It was not until Josh and I parted ways that I believe I found the answer to this mystery of mysteries. On my solo walk back to my car, I passed a group of "misfit" teenagers. Piercings, mismatched clothing, strange dye jobs, a few more piercings....I was in Royal Oak. You get the idea. One of the spawn knew a kid that was also walking past (ahead of me) and they talked briefly.

"How you been?"
"Nah man, everything's cool."
"Yeah, me too."
"What are you up to tonight?"
"Just trying to hit up some gas money."

Boom.

Did you feel it? There it is. This fine young upstart was probably going to employ technique similar to the one used by Josh's new girlfriend. Stand in a busy downtown area and ask people for money. If they don't ask, don't tell. Though I wonder what they would say if asked... What a strange way to pay for gas.

Maybe things have gotten a little out of hand with gas prices.

The National Basketball Association (NBA) implemented an amnesty clause by which the teams may avoid luxury tax by releasing a player under the clause. This was a one-time deal for the teams to waive any player and be released from obligation to pay the tax associated with that player's contract.

For many years the state of economics in the New York Knicks' clubhouse has been the subject of many jokes. Over time the organization has become notorious for signing players at the end of their careers for long-term lucrative contracts. One such player is Allan Houston.

To further the humor cloud that hovers above New York, the amnesty clause became casually referred to as the "Allan Houston Rule". The clause was to allow teams to keep some money they would otherwise be forced to pay when waiving a player. As it is a once-in-a-lifetime option, it was understood that you would waive the player who is the biggest financial drain on the team. For the Knicks, that would arguably be Allan Houston. Or so we thought.

On the final day to waive players under the amnesty clause, the New York Knicks waived Jerome Williams a/k/a "The Junkyard Dog". Was this a joke? They did not call it the "Jerome Williams Rule" it was the "Allan Houston Rule"! I feel so lied to. Apparently the Knicks may be bailed out of all financial obligation by insurance money if Houston's knee prevents him from returning to action, but what an anticlimactic end to this story.

Other players' contracts waived by current or former teams were Michael Finley (Dallas), Ron Mercer (New Jersey), Calvin Booth (Milwaukee), Troy Bell (Memphis), Clarence Weatherspoon (Houston), Alonzo Mourning (Toronto), Vin Baker (Boston), Derrick Coleman (Detroit), Wesley Person (Miami), Eddie Robinson (Chicago), Howard Eisley (Phoenix), Doug Christie (Orlando), Aaron McKie (Philadelphia), Brian Grant (Los Angelos Lakers), Derek Anderson (Portland) and last but certainly not least Fred Hoiberg (Minnesota).

More details are available from Sportsline.

Director Jim Jarmusch, best known to me for his work in making Ghost Dog - The Way of the Samurai, first worked together with Bill Murray in Coffee and Cigarettes before getting back together two years later to make Broken Flowers.

Broken Flowers features Bill Murray acting in a role similarly caught up in the mundane passing of time as was his character in Lost in Translation. Murray plays Don Johnston...with a T...a "middle aged Don Juan" with a whose past relationships with women are to be admired. As he says, he was just living his life when one day he receives a mysterious letter which had neither a return address nor a signed name. The letter read that it was from a woman from 20 years into Don's past and that shortly after they went their separate ways she gave birth to a son. Don's son.

Winston, Don's sleuth-obsessed neighbor gets involved to discover the origin of the letter. His blueprint involves Don creating a list of possible women from which he will plan an itinerary. The choice, then, is Don's; whether or not to set out on this wild goose chase to find a woman who may or may not have given birth to his child.

The movie was good. It was not great, it was not incredible, it was not wonderful. It was good. I think it COULD HAVE BEEN great, incredible and/or wonderful. Something was missing.

Winston was the loveable character. It was his role that should have been developed further. He and his family with their relationship to Don could have been used more. Maybe a few less cut scenes to watch a plane take off.

I understand that the idea was to let Don embark on an outwardly manifested journey into himself, but so many solo shots of Murray sitting quietly as he learned more about himself made the movie progress too slowly.

I know I broke the cardinal rule of movie watching and entered the theater last night with expectation(s) for this film. Granted I had not heard much of the movie itself, only that Murray was great. I will concede this point, but with exceptions. To an extent I will draw a parallel between Bill Murray in Broken Flowers and Tom Hanks in The Terminal. Both men were great in their respective roles, the problem was that maybe the roles themselves needed work. The Terminal was a horrible film, so I will go no further in using the two movies in the same sentence. I said before, Broken Flowers is a good movie.

I laughed (maybe too) loudly at many points. That is part of what made the movie difficult for me as I would laugh so hard and then there would be such a long lull before the next laugh. This emphasized some parts of the movie as being slower than I believe they really were upon reflection; the contrast was too great.

There were two things that I definitely enjoyed about Jarmusch's direction. One, though it made me a bit nauseous, was his camera shot out Don's driver side window. The shot is right out the window, including the reflection in the side mirror. This shows Don on his journey through his past to maybe find a piece of his future. We watch the world pass by his window then vanish into the horizon. The second technique was the use of basketball hoops. Winston instructed Don to keep an eye out for clues that may indicate which of the women mothered a son. Each neighborhood he travels to shows a basketball hoop. The hoops are used as hope that maybe he is on the right path.

I was also fascinated by the newfound desire in a man who had never exhibited any signs of wanting a family of his own to find his son in the face of every 19 year old young man he passed on the street. ...So I guess that was three things I liked....

Either go in committed to "the long haul" or maybe get antsy in your uncomfortable theater seat, either way the movie is good. Maybe Jim Jarmusch will just let me see his next script ahead of time so we can work in a few more jokes to keep up the intensity. Until then, go see Broken Flowers. (Oh and I recommend Ghost Dog, too.)

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Someone please explain to me the accepted course of action when it comes to dropped change. You may rifle through your pocket to fish out your car keys or maybe you had to dig through a purse with God knows what contents and oops, some change falls out. How the coins fall out is unimportant, what I need to know comes after the fact.

Do you pick it up? Is there ever a fear of looking too stingy with your pennies where you must pick up all change dropped? Is there a specific amount that below this threshold you do not bother? Perhaps only certain denominations are gathered, the rest left behind? May you then appear too snobby because you act as though your balance sheet can take the hit? Would you go so far as to chase a coin that happens to land on edge thus rolling away? What if you drop one or more coins at the feet of a stranger, will you poke around or write it off as a loss?

Have you ever picked up the change of another? Would you? I don't mean "Hey, I found a quarter" or a even a "lucky penny." I mean when you see someone drop a coin or two, maybe they can't find it, maybe they are the type not to be trifled with mere pocket change, or even better you beat them to it. It must then be fair game under the internationally accepted FKA, or Finders Keepers Act, which I believe was adopted at a Geneva Convention. So, do you pick it up?

I witnessed a man drop what, from a safe distance, appeared to be $0.06 (nickel + penny) as I approached the Post Office on Official Privatjokr business. He turned quickly to swoop up the change and place it in his pocket before it was reported missing. It looked as if he had turned so quickly that maybe he had more change in his pocket and did not know the exact damage. There is a good amount of foot traffic in and out of the Post Office at lunch time. You know that guy had to think about his actions while bending down to reclaim his 6/100 of a dollar, right? Did any of the questions above cycle through his head? Maybe they all did, each in turn. He was past the point of no return already, so even the conclusion that the money did not fit the equation equaling his picking it up was irrelevant, but he sure got me thinking. Where else to share life's many questions than with the three people that read my ramblings!?

Many readers maintain a constant surplus of books from which they may choose what to read next. The idea of a to-read-pile for some is literal; for others it is figurative. Different people have different approaches to their to-read-pile. My pile is figurative. I know that I have a home full of books, some I have read, many I have not. Of those I have not read, I do not even plan currently to read each and every one. I do not plan too far in advance, the order in which I will read my books. When I am nearly finished with the book I am reading I will pick what will be next. And for people who finish a book with no plans to even go to their local library to choose the next one, I do not know how you do it. You are stronger than I. I will actually not finish a book until I have picked what is next so at the moment I am ready I may pick up the next and get started. Finish one book, reflect, start the next.

Using a literal to-read-pile where you have an actual order for the books you will read subsequently is not for me. A lot of which book I choose depends on my current mood and how busy I will be for the upcoming week or two. If I know I will be swamped I will try to choose something that is lighter; an easier read. If I know I do not have many things scheduled I might try to tackle a book that requires a little more time and attention. It is very difficult to plan that more than a book or two in advance.

I have a difficult enough time when I travel. If I am going away for an extended period of time (3+ days) I try to pack in a "just in case" manner. It is funny when I am able to discuss this approach with other reader travellers. I take the book I am reading and one, two, maybe even three more books. The number of books then will depend upon number of pages, writing style, content and of course how much time I will have to devote to reading on my trip. The time I have available to read starts with a wait in the airport before each leg of my trip and then each leg of my round-trip flight. It is hard enough choosing a small handful of books to bring along when I fly, let alone planning say months in advance. Have I ever finished that many books on a trip? No. Why take so many? Because I can never not be reading a book, even though I am not always actually in the act of reading it. I guess it is a character flaw.

I am not sure I could ever, and I know I would never, try to place a stay on my book buying. Sure I have a lot of good books at home that I have not yet read, but there is so much excitement in buying new books. The idea of "I will not buy another book until I have read every book that I currently own" does not appeal to me. I have a company in New York that sends me books monthly and I generally treat myself to an order from Amazon.com every month or two.

When those packages arrive I am like a kid on Christmas. Even though from Amazon I know what is in the box, I cannot wait to get it open. Why place a hold on that feeling? I cannot find a reason to do so.

Exam week is almost over. For those of use who only have two classes, exam week is only half over, but who is counting? The question that popped into my head when I drove home last night after my test (by way of the Chinese restaurant) was a simple one, as most of my thoughts are.

Is there some rule that we learn at an early age whereby we feel that the harder we grip the pen/pencil and the harder we press it to the paper our words will become more intelligent?

When I had finished the second essay on last night's exam I couldn't put my pen down. My hand had actually cramped and was stuck in the writing position. Did I think the proctor for the exam may come and attempt to disarm me of my pen? Why on Earth do we hold on so tightly and write so darkly on the page in those situations?

I am anticipating having to switch to my off hand to finish the essay on tonight's exam. My writing hand might not be up to two consecutive nights of law school exams. Maybe I will soak my hand in a bucket of ice tonight.

Or maybe I'll just go to the bar when the test is over...

Things are turning for the bright side.

The Man Booker Prize for Fiction represents the very best in contemporary fiction. One of the world’s most prestigious awards, and one of incomparable influence, it continues to be the pinnacle of ambition for every fiction writer. It has the power to transform the fortunes of authors, and even publishers. In 2004, not only did Alan Hollinghurst’s The Line of Beauty reach the bestseller lists, but previous winners The Life of Pi (2002) and Vernon God Little (2003) were also amongst the bestselling books of the year.

	The Harmony Silk Factory by Tash Aw
	The Sea by John Banville
	Arthur & George by Julian Barnes
	A Long Long Way by Sebastian Barry
	Slow Man by J.M. Coetzee
	In the Fold by Rachel Cusk
	Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
	All For Love by Dan Jacobson
	A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka
	Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel
	Saturday by Ian McEwan
	The People’s Act of Love by James Meek
	Shalimar The Clown by Salman Rushdie
	The Accidental by Ali Smith
	On Beauty by Zadie Smith
	This Thing Of Darkness by Harry Thompson
	This Is The Country by William Wall

Note: This is the longlist. The shortlist will be announced on September 8 and the winner will be announced on October 10.

One of the steps, though I guess I am not sure which one, in dealing with the two year wait for the next Harry Potter is to find another series to read and help pass the time. Yes, there are many books published, but I am looking for something a little more fun in line with the Potter series.

Wil actually took the initiative and began asking around for a series that would help curb his appetite before Book 7. The first series suggested was The Edge Chronicles. After hearing that I did what I do best and started playing around on this glorious internet and came across the Artemis Fowl series.

One thing that will help is that book two of The Inheritance Series (author of Eragon) comes out soon. And even though it is a lot different from Harry, I have read the Lord of the Rings trilogy so that probably does not help me. But for more Tolkien I have been meaning to read The Silmarillion.

Has anyone read any of the above books/series (primarily the Edge Chronicles and Artemis Fowl)? Are they any good? Do you have any other suggestions for me and others?

There is a very unique phenomenon that occurs around the links that I will ask you now to consider. There exists a nearly perfect correlation between a player's handicap and his creative use of swear words. As you stray farther and farther from that elusive myth of "par", the creative juices begin to flow. I have heard stories of par, but never seen it myself. I am not even sure it even exists. Perhaps the idea was simply created by a man who was trying to invent vulgarity. If that was the case, good show! You have succeeded, my boy.

I have known some decent golfers in my day and might I say that they would make their mothers proud. They do not use any foul or offensive language. Basically this means that not only do they make you mad by beating you in golf, but they also prevent you from having any fun.

On the other hand, I have known my fair share of bad golfers. We are the majority; golf is not an easy game to play. I am a firm believer that swearing (or cussing if you prefer) was born on the golf course and from there golfers over time have developed some incredible phrases. We all have our favorites. If it were not for golf, I would have an empty bag of unnecessarily elaborate uses for a select few four letter words. "#$%@ me and the horse I rode in on" and "$#@& me running" were probably my two greatest take-a-ways from the golf course. There are some people I only golf with to hear what they will come up with next.

You never know when to expect the next gem, but the more time you spend on the course (with bad golfers of course) the more likely you are to be present at its birth. It is an exciting thing and I can only wish that you have the opportunity to hear some good ones in you time, though I am confident you will if you have not already.

Charlie: I want you to have my children. And I want you to have your children...That sounds like an awful lot of children.

Michael Connelly, author of the Harry Bosch series will be on tour in the Northeast in late 2005 for a quick promotion of his new (non-Bosch) novel.

A Word From Michael Connelly:
"The Lincoln Lawyer is a book that I had an idea for about five or six years ago," Connelly said, "but it was going to be one that needed a lot of research, so I didn't do it for a while. I met a lawyer in Los Angeles who basically used his car as an office. L.A. is so spread out, and the traffic is so bad, and there are 39 courthouses in L.A. County where proceedings take place. He found he was always in his car, moving from courthouse to courthouse, so he kind of outfitted his car with a fax machine, and computer and printers," Connelly continued. "He works in his Lincoln Town Car as he moves from courthouse to courthouse. He used clients who were having trouble paying him as his drivers and so forth. That was the thumbnail I got about five years ago, and it took me until now to spend some time with some lawyers and in court so I could write it."

Visit MichaelConnelly.com for tour dates and locations. The Lincoln Lawyer hits shelves October 3, 2005. Pre-order a copy.

I was playing with my Blockbuster.com queue early this morning and a feeling came over me as I stared blankly at my 188 movies long list. One thing that is nice about the site is that they allow you to provide feedback and suggestions for improvement. Despite the wonderful suggestion I made before that is still ignored, I felt compelled to submit another idea. Here is what I wrote:

How about a button that will randomize your list. You spend an entire day going through lists and lists provided on blockbuster.com adding movie after movie. They are simply now in the order in which you browsed to them. You could sit there and spend just as long if not longer pretending that there is a specific order in which you would like to view them though we all understand how arbitrary that is. If there was a way to simply randomize the list it may save a lot of time and even spice up one's queue.
Think about it.

Let it be no secret that having such a list is daunting. Those nearly 200 movies are my Everest. Getting through them will take time, that is certain. The randomization feature would allow for more surprise in what movie would come next. Ok, ok, ok. I could just never look at my queue and I would have no idea in what order my movies will come to me, but this would be more fun.

New movies come out that you were anxious to see in the theater, though missed for whatever reason(s). You may prioritize them ahead of other movies in your queue, but the prioritization causes conflict for me. The beauty of the service is that you have access to so many movies. I am able to see movies I otherwise never would; the price is right. If I actually went in and played favorites with the movies I queued, some movies may well be taken right off the list. They will be bumped closer and closer to the vanishing point as new movies are added. Or you could let me hit a button and roll the dice. I think it is obvious which way I prefer.

Oh, and if you are curious, my other suggestion to them was to, through an admin interface, create links that I may add to the end of my movie reviews which allow you to queue the movie directly. I would push more for this original suggestion if I were forced to choose, but I think they are both valid and worth Blockbuster's time and consideration.

Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.

In the song "Ride Wit Me" from Nelly's Country Grammar Album the lyrics read as

"I'm gettin pages out of New Jersey, from Courtney B.
Tellin me about a party up in NYC
And can I make it? Damn right, I be on the next flight
Payin cash; first class - sittin next to Vanna White." - OHHLA.com

Are we impressed by rappers because they make so much money? Or is there more? I can honestly say that I have never showed the slightest bias towards one rapper over the other due to the liquidity of his assets. Sure Nelly is paying cash...that's great. Is he better than Kanye West because maybe Kanye uses plastic? Maybe even using frequent flyer miles would have actually been the hot move for the last minute flight to the big apple. "You know Nelly really has sound investment strategies, yet finds a way to keep money in his pocket. It is really quite remarkable." Nope, never had that conversation.

On my way into work this morning I saw a man, maybe 55-60 years old, driving a VW Bug. It was a silvery color and otherwise ordinary save...the flame decals. They were placed on either side of the VW logo on the front of the car. Think that helps him sleep at night? Sure I drive a girls car, but these killer flames make it look cool.

Leaving the office to run an errand I had to wait at the exit from our parking lot for a break in traffic. While I idled in anticipation of my turn to join the free flow of cars I had the pleasure of watching a grown man in khakis and a button up shirt (tie included) jump rope in the shade on the sidewalk. I instantly recognized him as a building-mate from one of the businesses upstairs. I have never talked to this man; I know nothing about him. Except that he jumps rope at lunch.

I met my mother for lunch today at Chili's. We had a lovely time, it is always nice to have lunch with momdukes and see how things are. It doesn't hurt that she pays, either! Over my dear mother's shoulder there were two men having lunch together. One of the two was large, bald, hairy...well I guess "burly" would have defined this gentleman well. Bald, goatee, no sleeves, HUGE tattoo on his shoulder, dainty margarita in a cute little martini glass. This man was a walking oxymoron. Maybe he just likes the margaritas, who am I to judge? It seemed, well it seemed a little odd.

Just another day.

HOW TO DECAFFEINATE YOUR TEA AT HOME:
Avoid commercially packaged teas labeled "decaffeinated." Many decaffeinated teas use potentially-harmful chemicals to remove caffeine. If you wish to lower the caffeine level of your tea naturally, it is best to do it yourself--without the use of chemicals

Because caffeine is highly water soluble, tea leaves release the majority of their caffeine content in the first 30 seconds of steeping. Therefore, “pre-brewing” tea for 30 seconds and then discarding the water will lower the level of caffeine in your cup by about 80%.

1. Brew your tea for 30 seconds.
2. Pour off the water completely.
3. Start again with the used ‘decaffeinated’ leaves, and brew according to taste.

*For best results, do not exceed 30 seconds of pre-brewing or you may wash away too much of the tea's flavor and healthy components. - Octavia Tea

Whether wireless or not, the issues with distribution of internet access to customers is one that needs to be addressed. Some areas of today's economy still are slow to adopt this idea of free internet access. Airports highlight their status as wi-fi hotspots, which makes perfect sense when you combine the amount of business travelers with the number of pleasure travelers with DVD-ROMs in their laptop computers. I am paying $300 to fly to Baltimore yet I am not allowed on the internet for free? Are you serious?

Some hotels still think that charging $9.99 for 24 hours of access is a good deal. And the 24 hours is noon to noon. Say I sign up at 11pm tonight, I have access until noon tomorrow so the 24 hours of access may be a bit misleading. If I am at a major hotel chain location in the downtown portion of a large eastern city for business, my company is already paying $250 per night, why do I have to give you another 10 so I can check my e-mail? The room was small and unremarkable, give me free internet so at least I may be inclined to stay at your hotel next time I am in town! Alas, no.

The only industry that appears to understand how to use internet access to its advantage is the coffee shop industry. In their windows you see signs boasting free wireless internet within the walls of the location.

If I can bring my laptop with me and surf the internet, I am more likely to sit longer and buy not necessarily just one, but maybe two coffees. Sure, I don't drink coffee, but you get the picture.

Offer the internet for free and I will a) walk in the door and b) buy lots of product while I enjoy this service which you have bestowed upon me free of charge. This business model is one of harmony between retailer and consumer.

Why then would a company, that has generally kept me happy as a regular customer, such as Barnes and Noble not learn from the success of the coffee shops. I was sitting in their cafe of all places! Their network is run by one of the large telecom corporations. If I wanted internet access while I drink my name brand coffee, how much do you think that would run? Go ahead, guess.

$19.99 per month. Oh wait, there's more. There is a minimum obligation of 1 year. So I can now drink my name brand coffee, thanks to the strategic relationship between B&N and the coffee company, while I surf the web. It will just cost me $240. Yes, they did have the option to buy a 2 hour segment for maybe $4, but I only wanted 10 minutes or so.

You use the free internet access to get me to walk in and sit down. The longer I sit in your store, the more likely I am to buy something, in theory.

What gets me most is that B&N lets us pay annually for our Readers' Advantage card so we receive a discount on our purchases. This is done to create loyalty to the store. Because of this card, again in theory, I will not buy books elsewhere. Giving free access to all would be out of the question I imagine? Why not either grant us access based upon our card holder status? Just a suggestion.

I altered a recipe that Nick gave me on Friday when I asked him what I should make myself for dinner. He had suggested his Chicken and Veggie packages. Where he got this recipe originally, we may never know. In any case, he said to take a chicken breast, some sliced up onion and zucchini, some extra virgin olive oil (EVOO), and season to taste. Take all of your ingredients, wrap them in tin foil (hence the word packages) and throw them in the oven at 400 degrees for 30 minutes. For a treat, near the end of your 30 minutes add a cheese of your preference to the packages. What I did was slightly different.

After preheating my oven to 400, I pre-made three little tin foil trays in which I would be able to dump my ingredients in thirds. I chose three as I had purchased a package of three chicken breasts. I took each chicken breast and sliced them into strips, maybe 3/4" thick so they would cook more evenly once in the oven, seasoned them and put each in the tin foil. I only chopped up 1/2 of an onion as I do not as a general rule like onions, but I thought it would flavor my chicken well.

Next I moved to my stovetop where I pulled down a pan and cooked 4 strips of bacon. I bought some beautiful applewood smoked bacon that had been cut nearly 1/4" thick. Once cooked, I forked one piece into each of my packages (and ate the fourth). Now I was left with a mess of bacon fat in my pan. No problem Mr. Charles Shaw cannot handle. I added red wine to my pan and sauteed a handful of mushrooms. I poured my wine/bacon nectar/mushroom mix over my packages and closed them. They went into the oven for 25-30 minutes.

My modifications to Nick's recipe were small. Mushrooms in place of zucchini, red wine instead of EVOO, and I omitted the last minute cheese. I guess you could say I treated myself with bacon instead. I have no complaints about my meal and the way it was prepared.

Simple recipe. Simple dinner. And best of all: Simple clean-up.