:: Privatjokr ::

A novel in two volumes, THE WIZARD KNIGHT is in the rare company of those works which move past the surface of fantasy and drink from the wellspring of myth. Magic swords, dragons, giants, quests, love, honor, nobility -- all the familiar features of fantasy come to fresh life in this masterful work.

The story begins in THE KNIGHT, when a young man in his teens is transported from our world to a magical realm which contains seven levels of reality. Very quickly transformed by magic into a grown man of heroic proportions, he takes the name Sir Able of the High Heart and sets out on a quest to find the sword that has been promised to him, a sword he will get from a dragon, the one very special blade that will help him fulfill his life ambition to become a true knight and a true hero.

A book-dealer friend picked up an extra copy of this book for me at the World Fantasy Convention. As it was not given directly to me, but rather given to my dad to give to me, I never found out whether or not it came with a recommendation. I decided to read it regardless.

The young boy, somehow transplanted into this strange world sets out to find meaning in the words of an old lady. He meets characters, significant and otherwise, along the way to chase his dream of becoming a true knight. Or was it that dream chased him? In either event, the book grabbed my attention and would not let go. The beginning pulled me in so quickly, I hardly realized it had happened.

There was a plot twist that shook me back to my senses. When the boy is transformed into a man, the book goes in a new direction; one I did not necessarily like. And unfortunately this happened a mere 60 pages in. The young boy did little more than thirst for each and every modicum of education of how to become a true night. As a man, he simply began to tell people that he was a knight and that they need tend to his every whim. It was as if all character he had as a boy was traded for age. If that were the case, he got a raw deal.

The book was light and fast moving, so I kept at it. It ventured down a few paths that I may not have thought the best, but I never stopped reading. The end of the book was very weird and hardly fit at all with what had led up to it, yet on I went. Try though I might, to figure out what happened at the end, I cannot. All I know is that with each time the Sir Able came to a door I had to find out what was on the other side.

I did not love The Knight, but I could not put it down. Until the book was done, I did not realize it, but I had to know what happened next. No matter how weird the ending of The Knight was, I knew that I had to buy The Wizard and see how Sir Able fairs. I bought book 2, stay tuned...

I know this is not the most glowing praise for a book, but kudos to Gene Wolfe for inciting this strange reaction in me. If nothing else, Mr. Wolfe, you sold one more book.

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Conversations began last week about my search for a "go-to" local steakhouse. When I have guests in from out of town and a nice dinner is in order, I would like to know that I can make one phone call and have my reservation. We have the usual chain steakhouses and they are very good, but when I travel I like to taste the local flavor. Doesn't Detroit have any? A coworker suggested Lelli's in Auburn Hills/Pontiac; I had never been. The next thing I did was make the reservation.

My parents and I arrived at 6:45PM on Saturday for dinner. The restaurant was not overly crowded, which I thought was nice. It began to fill up while we ate, not too surprisingly.

Lelli's is definitely a restaurant to consider if you are looking for large amounts of food. Each entree comes with the antipasto tray, salad, soup (Minestrone Lelli), spaghetti (w/ meat sauce), and spumoni for dessert.

The antipasto tray came with one of each item per person, with the exception of the black olives which none of us touched. The tray had pepperoncini, black olives, thinly sliced pepperoni, what I believe was mortadella, cheese, and shrimp.

I try to not season food when I get it. When something is placed in front of me at the restaurant I feel at that time it is truly how the chef intends it to be and adding even salt and/or pepper will detract from the full experience. I should have thrown this practice out the window when the minestrone came. Sure, I ate it all, but I felt it was slightly bland.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I did not get the spaghetti, but rather the palmina (penne in a creamy tomato sauce). For someone who claims to not get too excited over pasta, this is now the second meal in three months nearly highlighted by the pasta course. The palmina was unique to those who ordered the porterhouse as I had. I would order this as an entree and forgo the rest of the meal; it was that good.

My steak was a beautifully cut porterhouse. Big, juicy, and cooked to my specification: life is good. On the steak's merit alone I would go back to Lelli's; plain and simple. It was not the best I have had, but it was very good.

I opted against the spumoni and chose the homemade chocolate ice cream instead. I recommend you do the same, it was great.

Overall, the meal had high points and low points. Most of them do, in my experience. Unfortunately one big blemish on Lelli's record in my mind was the service. When you go to a semi-fancy dinner out you should be able to expect above average service. I would have even accepted average service... I have said it before and I will continue to say it: customer service is so very important. When a place gets that right, it is truly special. Lelli's got service all wrong.

What I had hoped for was a special night out to dinner with my parents. That is absolutely what I had. I am able to separate any complaints I had with the food or the restaurant from the occasion with my family. When all is said and done I would go back to Lelli's, but the circumstances would need to be abnormal. The search for my "go-to" steakhouse continues...

So Wil calls me Monday morning to ask if I wanted to meet up for lunch. But he is not capable of just asking outright, so we make idle chitchat at first. That would be fine in most cases, but I have interesting friends. (That and my disclaimer is that I have not been getting much sleep lately.)

Wil: Do you think you have ever scored 81 points at Lifetime in a week?
Me: Ummm, maybe.

Well, let me think about that. I used to go to the gym 3-4 nights a week and would play sometimes for up to 4 hours straight. I guess it is possible that in a 7 day period I played enough games where I amassed 81 points, sure. So I explain this a little and figure he would be satisfied.

Wil: You have no idea what I am talking about, do you?
Me: Not even a little bit.
Wil: It is all over Sportscenter.
Me: I have been at work and swamped since 5:50AM.
Wil: It is even on CNN News!
Me: Congratulations. Alas, I have not made my way to a TV since you told me it was on ESPN.
Wil: Kobe dropped 81 last night on Toronto.
Me: Oh. OH! Holy [expletive deleted]!

Silly me. On Sunday he as telling me about the outrageous day he had Saturday at the gym and the hours upon hours of basketball he played and how he was coerced to play under duress and blah blah blah. As soon as he asked if I thought I had ever scored 81 points in a week I thought he had so little to do at work on Monday that he was replaying each game from Saturday in his mind. He would have seen each shot he had taken. He would have added up each basket he made and totaled them to 81 points. It would be pretty amazing to do that in a series of 5 on 5 games played to 11 straight up.

So the moral of the story is that maybe my brain could use a little tune up. Maybe...

Discussion about groomsmen attire for my brother's wedding began to involve me about two weeks ago. At lunch with my mom I was told that the plan was black suits. Our ties would match us to the bridesmaids. The idea of tuxedos was thrown out early by bride and groom as too formal; the wedding is outdoors in the summer.

After some conversation and a little more research we convinced my brother and his bride-to-be that a tan suit was more appropriate. Since I found the suit, one that happened to only be on sale for another 10 days, my job was to disseminate the information to everyone my brother honored with an invitation to stand up for him in the wedding.

The suit is $200 down from $300, but only for 10 more days. Go buy it in a hurry, I told them. They could wait, but why? Following my own advice, I went to the store where I knew I could find the suit yesterday.

"Can you order one for me?"
"What size?"
"52 extra long."
"Hmmm. That's doubtful."

This is the suit I went to bat for, it HAS to be available in my size.

"Let me check the computer."

Yes, please do that.

"Ok. If you want it, I have to know right now. I have ONE and only one in stock."

That is only one suit in my size across all stores nationwide. Order me the suit, please.

It should be in tomorrow. Glad I came in when I did.

Tom Cruise plays Civil War hero Capt. Nathan Algren, who comes to Japan to fight the Samurai and ends up pledging himself to their cause. Ken Watanabe (Academy Award Nominee) plays Katsumoto, a Samurai leader facing a vanishing way of life, whose destiny becomes intertwined with that of the American captain. Edward Zwick (winner of the National Board of Review's Best Director Award) directs this sweeping and emotional epic tale of the birth of modern Japan.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

This powerful first novel...tells a story of fierce cruelty and fierce yet redeeming love. Both transform the life of Amir, Khaled Hosseini's privileged young narrator who comes of age during the last peaceful days of the monarchy, just before his country's revolution and its invasion by Russian forces. But political events, even as dramatic as the ones that are presented in The Kite Runner, are only a part of this story. In The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini gives us a vivid and engaging story that reminds us how long his people have been struggling to triumph over the forces of violence -- forces that continue to threaten them even today.

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Hub: Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.

I love to travel. I love everything about it: seeing new places, getting away, meeting new people, eating at new restaurants, taking pictures to remember the places I have been. All of it.

A few weeks ago I made the declaration that I would like to start traveling abroad. I have only been to two countries outside of the United States, and many of you might not take me too seriously when I tell you that one is lowly Canada. The good news is that I am able to say that my experience in Canada is not limited to driving an hour south and heading into Windsor, nor is it to any attempts to reduce driving time between Michigan and the Northeastern US.

My other trip was to England for a 10 day trip with my family when I was about 15 years old. While we were able to stay very busy and cover much ground in the time I was there I would still like to go back. There were a few things specifically I would like the opportunity to see that were not feasible due to time constraints on the first trip, and many other things I am sure I do not even know about.

In my adventures abroad I would like to start with a return trip to London before I hit mainland Europe. For the most part, other places do not excite me as much as Europe. The exception is that I would truly love to visit Australia and New Zealand.

I have not reconsidered in the fact that I no longer desire to travel to these places, but rather in the timeframe I follow to get me there. While before I wanted to begin saving money for my first trip to Europe (hopefully) in 2007, I believe now I would prefer to push that back.

I know this will sound horribly boring to most of you, but that which I have chosen as having higher priority than Europe is right here at home. I want to travel to other cities in other states that I have never visited. Ultimately I would like to be able to say that I have been to all 50 states, but that is secondary to my goal to see more places.

I actually proposed this very idea to at least one of my friends from college. Since a handful of use scattered when handed our diplomas, reunion now requires travel. Rather than meeting in Philadelphia year after year, I suggested that we pick a new city each year. This would accomplish many things in my mind. No one would feel slighted because they have to pay travel expenses since everyone has to pay them. In other words, the people who did not move out of Philadelphia after graduation have to buy a plane ticket, too. We all have the opportunity to visit someplace we have never been. As years go by the chances of us finding a city where no one has been yet we all want to visit will dwindle, but that is perfectly acceptable. And, if anyone is concerned at all, you may leave any inhibitions you may have about your reputation in a local environment at home. We will all be away from that and able to enjoy ourselves relatively freely. I know my reasons do not sound like much, but I also do not think they need to BE much.

Though I tell you of my proposed idea to make these periodic trips, I do not take credit for the travel as it has come up. My friends from college have been able to travel to various parts of the country for different events, thus serving as a veritable reunion. For example they were together this past weekend in Austin, Texas following the Villanova University men's basketball team. The truth of the situation is consistent with the idea that I had proposed way back when. The problem is that while it was an idea well received and even in practice to a large extent, I have not been able to enjoy it. Constraints placed on my time (work and school) have kept me from making the trips.

As I know my schedule remains busy, I need to plan my trips when I am able. I have never really sat down and made a list of the cities I want to see period, let alone in any particular order. I think it is better this way anyhow; I am freer to decide based upon mood, seasonality and the fluctuating cost of plane fare.

I guess it would be nice to find someone to come along. I would prefer it that way, actually. I am looking forward to it already. Europe can wait. After all, it is not going anywhere. So do not be surprised if I call you and ask you to meet me in Seattle, Washington.

I did not want to detract from the monologue about the disposable digital camera that I bought on my last trip, so I moved this portion of the story out to be told separately.
___

Am I the only one that has these conversations with people? Was it something that I did that makes me the participant in such situations? Am I being punished?

I took my disposable digital camera back to a CVS location between work and home to be "developed". I could not even begin to estimate the last time I took film in to a drug store. I felt out of my element for sure. What I can only imagine to be standard procedure dictates that she inquire if I want single or double prints. I desire neither, but just in case, I ask for single. Again, I am a novice in the realm of one hour photo. I did not want to feel the wrath of the photo technician because I said I wanted no prints when offered a choice between single or double.

She then asks if I want the CD with my prints.

This is the part that threw me. Are you serious? Why would I buy a digital camera if I was not interested in the digital pictures? Do people actually do this? Yes, miss. I would like the CD. I was even more perplexed by her question once I picked up my prints...as they were horrible. I had rationalized the situation by making up some story about how CVS has some revolutionary technology that allows their disposable digital cameras to print crystal clear photos. Alas, no dice.

I stood in front of you in line this afternoon at Burger King. I placed my order and rested against the railing while I waited patiently for my order. Typically, when I find myself in this situation I will pull the book I am currently free-reading from my left cargo pocket and squeeze a few pages in before my food is ready. Today, in my haze of monotony I opted to observe those around me instead. In case you were not sure, you are thus included in "those around me".

Fast food ordering protocol was followed to the letter. The woman behind the counter finished stacking the soup crackers neatly in the bin to her right and looked up to take your order. You did not advance to the register before she granted you leave to do so. Like a southern gentleman you glided to place in front of her that was yours by right of your spot in line. You were like two dancers in a ballet, each move choreographed to the most minute detail. And then the weight of your thick head got in the way.

You began with proper eye contact with woman. Then, pointing to the poster behind her of a giant burger with three beef patties piled high with crisp lettuce and juicy tomato slices, you ask her, "Why doesn't my burger ever look like that one?"

I will not even launch into some diatribe about how this is not the appropriate customer service channel for your concern and just highlight the fact that my sense of humor is at least on par with that of the average American. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt as I hope that you were attempting to make a joke. You appeared to be a upper-middle class worker in your mid 50s. Perhaps the generational gap is to blame, sir.

I do not need to tell you that the poor tiny immigrant woman did not get your joke either. I have no doubts that you were able to notice the vacant expression on her face that served as response to your question. It would seem your genius was lost on us both.

Upon your next visit to Amateur Night or the next Open Mic Night the joke may carry more weight in laughter. Leave telling jokes to the little foreign woman who knows little more English than "Whopper" and "Chicken Fries" to the professionals.

Sincerely yours,

The guy that was in front of you in line.

One of my favorite nights of the year for the past three years has been going to the Charity Preview of the North American International Auto Show. Nick's parents get him two tickets in hopes that he will take a date. Rather than doing that...he takes me. No complaints here. The night is an excuse to rent a tuxedo, head to downtown Detroit, see some cars and grab a steak someplace for dinner after the show.

This year, for the first time, I took my camera with me. Last year I wanted to, but assumed we were not allowed. When I got there I saw that many people were carrying digital cameras. I corrected my mistake. I wish I had taken more pictures, since I had room, but I still managed to take 70 decent pictures. The pictures are available here. As an amateur photographer I am still learning as I go. If I get to go next year, I would not expect to return home with room for 90 more pictures like I did this time.

As stated above, this was my third time going in as many years. Each Auto Show has been unique. I cannot say which of the three has been my favorite, but I do know it was not this year's. I hate to say that for fear of showing disrespect to those who provided me with the opportunity to go, however. The night out as a whole was fantastic; I had an incredible time. The event itself was just not the best.

From the moment we walked in the door the show was lacking. I believe the two previous years held more excitement and wonder. I was like a kid in a candy shop before. I have considered whether going to the Auto Show has simply become monotonous and perhaps the excitement has left for that reason. I do not believe this to be true. The cars are always so different and at no other time do I have the opportunity to sit in so many cars I could never afford and all in one night. It was the same this year as I walked from one exhibit to the next in anxious anticipation of the cars we would find there. I apologize for not being able to describe the feeling that made this year's show not the best more concretely.

I am admittedly not a big "car guy". That may seem strange, but it is a fact. (I still look forward to this night above almost all of the rest.) I normally do not even get excited about cars. The only car I have ever wanted is a Dodge Viper. I know it is a cheesy pick and of all the cars in the world I could have made a better choice, but that is it. That is the one I have liked from the day I saw my first. This year I even got a chance to sit in it. The Viper is not a roomy car by any stretch of the imagination. I have always said that if somehow I ended up getting one you would have to pour me in the window and I would never be able to get back out. As you can see I was not far off in my estimation of how hard it would be for me to get in and out.

The highlights of the show were the Chevrolet Camaro and the Ford F-250 Super Chief. That is not to say that there were not many other cars worth seeing, because there were, but those were my particular favorites.

I have never been to the "open to the public" portion of the Auto Show which is the week or so following the Charity Preview. I do not think I would enjoy that as much as the Auto Show has become such a night out; I have been spoiled. Seeing an exhibit hall full of plainclothes patrons may be more than I can handle. There were some cars you should definitely see if you get the opportunity though.

Location:
Cobo Conference/Exhibition Center
One Washington Boulevard
Detroit, MI 48226
www.Cobo-info.com</u>