Thoughts

There is a very unique phenomenon that occurs around the links that I will ask you now to consider. There exists a nearly perfect correlation between a player's handicap and his creative use of swear words. As you stray farther and farther from that elusive myth of "par", the creative juices begin to flow. I have heard stories of par, but never seen it myself. I am not even sure it even exists. Perhaps the idea was simply created by a man who was trying to invent vulgarity. If that was the case, good show! You have succeeded, my boy.

I have known some decent golfers in my day and might I say that they would make their mothers proud. They do not use any foul or offensive language. Basically this means that not only do they make you mad by beating you in golf, but they also prevent you from having any fun.

On the other hand, I have known my fair share of bad golfers. We are the majority; golf is not an easy game to play. I am a firm believer that swearing (or cussing if you prefer) was born on the golf course and from there golfers over time have developed some incredible phrases. We all have our favorites. If it were not for golf, I would have an empty bag of unnecessarily elaborate uses for a select few four letter words. "#$%@ me and the horse I rode in on" and "$#@& me running" were probably my two greatest take-a-ways from the golf course. There are some people I only golf with to hear what they will come up with next.

You never know when to expect the next gem, but the more time you spend on the course (with bad golfers of course) the more likely you are to be present at its birth. It is an exciting thing and I can only wish that you have the opportunity to hear some good ones in you time, though I am confident you will if you have not already.