Thoughts

I have lived with it and not said a word. I have stood idly by and held my tongue. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. Or even that someone else would come forward. It may be my guilt for not stepping up to the plate before, or perhaps I just can't take it anymore. I have lived with this bottled up inside for so long. I need to say something. And the time is now.

There is a lot of emotion swirling around in my head surrounding this topic. If my thoughts come out too sporadically, I apologize in advance. For you see, I have these flashbacks. There are images burnt into my mind that I am not sure, even with therapy, could ever go away.

There is a place you go, where you are not alone. People are watching. Whether they want to admit it or not, their eyes fall upon you. You need to be mindful of that. You need to always respect the fact that though not everyone can get to where you are, enough people can. They...we...have feelings, too. Please keep that in mind.

I don't mean to single you out. You may not think it's fair. It may even be considered discrimination for me to make one post about no one else but naked old men in the locker room at the gym. If that is the case, let the consequences be what they may.

If you are walking from the shower to your locker, I can deal with that. You're in the men's locker room. It is relatively acceptable for you to walk your bare wrinkled old man body around when you have reason to be au natural. What I cannot take anymore is the other things you do.

You sit on the bench. Naked. With no towel underneath you. Sure, in 15 minutes no one will ever know. You'll be dressed and on your way home by then. But for a few minutes after you get up, you've left your mark. There it is. The pressed ham. Maybe we can plead with the gym to not use such a shiny finish on the benches. Then perhaps we won't see the autograph your butt has signed in steam for the world to see.

You stand at the mirror. Shaving. Naked. Really naked. It gets even worse when you lean up against the counter to get a closer look at your whiskers.

Dude...

I was debating whether or not to share this one with you. In the end I thought it was best. You should know. You have the right to know. My disclaimer here is that I take no responsibility for any infliction of emotional distress. If you have a weak stomach, stop reading. If you take heart medication or are a pregnant female, turn away now.

I went to the gym last week to play basketball. That is the little exercise I get these days and I don't make it up there as often as I would like. If this is what I can expect, maybe I will have to take up inline skating...

After a few hours on the court (mostly breathing heavy and/or waiting for my turn to play) I shower at the gym. Not uncommon by any means. Have you ever had a pain that starts in your eyes and then scatters throughout your brain? Well I hadn't, not until I left the shower that day. On the day in question as I was walking from shower back to my locker I froze like a deer in headlights...

At the first bench there was an old man sitting. I see more out of the corner of my eye as I turn. At first I have an overwhelming feeling of exuberance flood my body. This man is sitting on his towel! You sir, are an example for others to follow. Good show. The feeling did not last. After that initial moment my eyes focus.

Here he sits. This old man. Naked. On his towel, sure. His leg is propped up on the locker and he is, I kid you not, oscillating a blow dryer between his legs. Maybe this man's grapes are insured by Lloyd's of London and are too delicate for the industry standard towel treatment. I don't want to have the conversation with you, sir, as to why your huevos rancheros are deserving of such pampered treatment. I just want you to not do that out in public.

I hate to imagine this as epidemic, but I am not so foolish as to think this happens only at my gym. Old men everywhere are rubbing their naked naughty parts on things. And we can do nothing but sit and watch while it goes on.

Wow that sounded gross.

Just please remember to be mindful of others around you. You are not alone. We can see you. And nobody wants to do that.