Thoughts

I stood in front of you in line this afternoon at Burger King. I placed my order and rested against the railing while I waited patiently for my order. Typically, when I find myself in this situation I will pull the book I am currently free-reading from my left cargo pocket and squeeze a few pages in before my food is ready. Today, in my haze of monotony I opted to observe those around me instead. In case you were not sure, you are thus included in "those around me".

Fast food ordering protocol was followed to the letter. The woman behind the counter finished stacking the soup crackers neatly in the bin to her right and looked up to take your order. You did not advance to the register before she granted you leave to do so. Like a southern gentleman you glided to place in front of her that was yours by right of your spot in line. You were like two dancers in a ballet, each move choreographed to the most minute detail. And then the weight of your thick head got in the way.

You began with proper eye contact with woman. Then, pointing to the poster behind her of a giant burger with three beef patties piled high with crisp lettuce and juicy tomato slices, you ask her, "Why doesn't my burger ever look like that one?"

I will not even launch into some diatribe about how this is not the appropriate customer service channel for your concern and just highlight the fact that my sense of humor is at least on par with that of the average American. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt as I hope that you were attempting to make a joke. You appeared to be a upper-middle class worker in your mid 50s. Perhaps the generational gap is to blame, sir.

I do not need to tell you that the poor tiny immigrant woman did not get your joke either. I have no doubts that you were able to notice the vacant expression on her face that served as response to your question. It would seem your genius was lost on us both.

Upon your next visit to Amateur Night or the next Open Mic Night the joke may carry more weight in laughter. Leave telling jokes to the little foreign woman who knows little more English than "Whopper" and "Chicken Fries" to the professionals.

Sincerely yours,

The guy that was in front of you in line.